What To Say When Breaking Up With a Boyfriend/girlfriend - Ending Relationships

Men and women who are in long term relationships might struggle with finding the best way to end a relationship.

The partner who is about to 'dumped' might see signs that the relationship is over and prompt a conversation on the subject of ending the relationship. They might see the signs that a break up is on its way but they might not be ready to end the relationship. They might put up a mighty fight to persuade the partner who wants 'out' to stay.

This might include emotional blackmail, using the children as a weapon (if there are any) and promising to change. If this break up has come out of the blue, you need to tread carefully and sensitively.

So how do you end a long term relationship?

Every person is different and so how they react to being told their relationship is over will differ. But the basic rules of ending a relationship should remain the same.

Communication is key as is honesty.

You might feel like you want to soften the blow of breaking up and might choose to be vague about your reasons for ending the relationship.

You might say:

“It’s not you, it's me" etc.

This might even be true. You may have simply been in a relationship so long, that you've both changed and grown apart. Staying in the relationship could be more habit than love.

Fear of change and loneliness as well as practical issues such as home, children, finances etc might be reasons why you remained in the relationship longer than you felt happy to do so.

But, for the person who is about to be 'dumped' be sensitive in your method and with your reasons.

They will want to know specifically what changed and why you don't want to be with them anymore. Don't deliver your reasons when in an argument as you might be unnecessarily unkind. Wait until you're both calm and prepare your reasons.

There is nothing worse than not having 'closure' and not knowing why a relationship is ending.

Think to yourself how you'd prefer to receive this bad news. You know your partner better than anyone else if it is a long relationship and so will know how best to break it to them.

Don't take the coward’s way out and do what is the least stressful for you. I wouldn't advise breaking up by text for example!

Sometimes when people want out of a relationship they start behaving unreasonably in a relationship hoping that their partner will break up with them saving them the trouble. No one wants to be the bad guy (or girl). This behaviour though will only make matters worse.

Be honest, be sensitive and be clear.

Good luck.