Why Men Stare At Other Women and Why Their Wives Hate It!
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Some men habitually stare at other women when they are out and about with their wife or girlfriend. This often meets with criticism from the female partner.
Men that behave like this often reply to this criticism with:
" We’re men, that's what we do " .
It's not true that ALL men stare at other women when out with their partners though, so no, it's not what ALL men do.
I myself have dated a few chaps and out of those chaps, only two have made it obvious to me that they were looking at or staring at other women. In some cases I haven't commented as I was staring too. Often there is a reason to stare, though being discreet about it is always on my mind. Less so on the guy’s minds I fear.
How do I get my boyfriend to stop staring at other women?
Meanwhile, when your boyfriends staring at other women makes you feel uncomfortable it's time to ask them to stop.
I have found that it's quite easy to explain to men how to deal with their antisocial behaviour (because that is what it is, the women being stared at don't like it either) by explaining it to them thus:
When I see an attractive male walking by, I clock him. I then remind myself I am with my love and that my life won't be any worse for not having a second look. So I take the decision out of respect for my boyfriend not to look back or stare.
I put it to the men who stare at women that they can quite easily exercise the same amount of control, respect and do the same.
Why does my wife hate it when I stare at other women?
Meanwhile a lot of guys who stare at other women when out with their partner don’t understand why their women object. The reasons often surprise them.
Women are very competitive creatures and there is nothing worse than a woman feeling that another woman has got one up on her. In this case that would be the woman attracting her man's attention. The other woman will feel the stares, sees the man is with a woman and will feel dominant and glad that she is more attractive than the man's wife.
This might not be correct on either count, but in the wife’s mind, this will be one of the reasons why she's not happy for her man to make it so obvious to other women he's looking at them.
It also makes women feel more unattractive the more attention their men pay other women.
As such the behaviour is very demoralizing and disrespectful and men should try to avoid making it obvious if they can't refrain all together when out with their wives and girlfriends.
That is if you want to keep them as your wife or girlfriend!
Leah
Article submitted Thursday, September 10, 2009 & read 17783 times.
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» left by Anonymous (1 year 225 days ago.)
My guess is that its about the objectification of women. Women are trained (through this f'd up planet) to try and look as hot and sexy as possible. Men are trained (through this f'd up planet) to be attracted to thin blondes (okay, I'm generalizing a bit) I think it's hard for men to stop a habit that was formed and encouraged from puberty. Men have to fight for sex (well most) Women can typically get it whenever they want. Men are always on the look out for the next best/ better/ bigger boobed/ more beautiful/ more sexual (at least for that moment) thing! So complicated, right? I think the best thing you can do is (if you want to maintain a loving healthy relationship) be respectful of your partner and his/her needs. If he/she suggests there is a problem w/ looking... there probably is! Be open, honest. Stop denying. And, for God's sake, stop "checking out". We all have varying levels of how we spot and look at attractive people. We aren't blind! It's ALL about respect of your partner. The tiny pleasure you gain from checking out at an attractive person is not worth the love, respect and intimacy of your life partner.Respond to this comment
» left by Lee C from united kingdom (1 year 222 days ago.)
My partner has always been a "starer". I gather it got him a few black eyes in his younger days when he was in pubs and night clubs. Irrate boyfriends used to object to him looking too long at their women....so its not just some partners who dont like men to "look" too long. Guys DONT like it either when its not them doing it but its directed at their girlfriends by another man.Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (1 year 194 days ago.)
men justify this behaviour by saying that it is part of their genetic makeup and blah blah blah. I certainly dont believe that , when my bf looks at another women i feel devalued and that im not good enough for him or that he wants to rather be with that person. If i nag to much i feel like im acting insecure which i am when it comes to this subject. He doesnt look so much anymore , but a women comes by he closes his eyes and says that he does this incase he mistakenly looks. this angers me as well because i feel as if im imprisoning him . Which i dont wnat to do . It causes many arguments. I guess i just feel this way because i dont feel good enough for him.Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (1 year 193 days ago.)
My husband does the same things that are listed above. When we are in the mall or wherever in public, he always walks behind me. When I turn around, I am constantly seeing him checking out someone. I think this is ridiculous and very disrespectful. The way I fell about it, is that if I am not good enough for him to look at, then maybe he should move on. I have been married for 14 years and this started happening probably about the 2nd or 3rd year of marriage. I have told him before that it bothers me and I get the statement: "I wasn't looking" or when I ask him if he "got a good look", he will say "there was a girl?" Come on now. I am not blind. I love him more than anything but I cannot deal with this disrespect any longer. Oh, and the latest statement I got from him was " the only time I see good looking chicks is when you are with me." There came a point last summer when he was very very close to wrecking his motorcycle because he was looking at college chicks and the car in front of him stopped and he was unaware of it. I think that is a little pathetic.
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» left by Anonymous (1 year 175 days ago.)
I have been married for 30 years and my husband has gotten worst, during our early years of marriage he tried to be discreat (not so discreat since i notice it ) but now I have noticed that he lets me walk in front every time a women/young girl catches his attention, when I told him what he was doing he did not say anything but the following week he went an purchased SUNGLASSES this really disturbed me he thinks because I cannot see his eyes that he is being discrete. I dont know how to make him understand that women are not flatered by someone gauking at them......and most of all disrespect for me
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» left by Jessepeak Simulcron from A nunnery (1 year 154 days ago.)
By the way, if your guy is staring that long, play a psychology game. It's called kinky mind-sex for you supermarket tabloid vixens. While he is looking just calmly ask with a smile if he would be interested in a threesome with her. You don't really have to do it, it's just the mind of the man you are stimulating, get it? You can even take it as far as walking over to her and talking for a bit. This should be enough to get the blood pumping.The Victorian age is dead and colonial sexual values are implements of a jealous mind, so bang a gong and get it on, if you can't do that for personal convictions then just do it mentally. If you are not free in your minds then you are not free at all.Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (1 year 121 days ago.)
You know my first husband was so cool, he had a lot of class, dignity and respect for me and for himself he never did the immature act such as staring at other women it was easy we could go anywhere and he was like a gallant knight wow amazing, fun, easy, smooth sailing !The new guy I'm with he flirts with waitresses and stares at other women. We love a certain posh dinner place we go to and lucky me the wait staff are really older type so that is easy evening where I feel happy and respected. Funny thing is he is much the guy I'm with now is much older than me and you think that you would of learned by now how to be an adult respectful and wise male and you would not engage in staring at women and flirting with them he hates his mom and she abused them all horribly I believe he is still looking for approval from women I sometimes think that he needs therapy again for deep seated pain of his seriously dysfunctional childhood. The funny thing is when we in Italy all these beautiful Italian men were staring at me and he noticed it a lot which was soooo hilarious. sometimes I would just start laughing and I couldn't stop... I just dressed to the hilt and just played it up as much as I could because he now got to see it all from another perspective it is funny when the tables get turned!Respond to this comment
» left by Christina Lee from Singapore (1 year 117 days ago.)
Dear Fellow Victims, don't beat yourselves up too much. Look deeper and understand that those who gawk at other women when they are with another girl has an INTENSELY INSECURE self. It is not that you are no good or not pretty enough. You can be Elizabeth Hurley or Angelina Jolie and it can still happen to you. It is precisely because they feel small inside and that is why they keep looking for confirmation from the outside. Somehow, from my observation, they are hoping hard with their tiny dicks that the girl they are gawking will look back in affirmation. Really, it is not biology but psychology. Don't worry about these men straying also. Because they have an inferiority complex, they will stay by you girls because they really DON't have the guts to leave. So just have pity on these men. They can only press their pathetic small-dick nose on their car windows, gawking and salivate at other girls. They are like dogs. Just punish them in some other intelligent ways when you have the opportunity. Remember to stay tall and charming as always. Because there is always another dog-like men around the corner that is waiting to gawk at you in return. Bask in that glory when that happens to you! Have Luck and don't believe in Hollywood Romance Crap!Respond to this comment
» left by Fwankie Hello Leah from Somewhere in UK (1 year 110 days ago.)
If your boyfriend loves and fancies you completely and can't wait until the next encounter, he won't stare 'As Much'. If the woman is secure in herself and her guy, and vice versa...she knows that even if the nature of fornication is active...staring is cool. As her man is staring at another, how does she know that another man in the same vicinity is not staring at her???Where to draw the line?If your partner stares, worry not, you're on the receiving end of his 'later' attention. Worry if he doesn't stare... he may be latently GAY!!!!Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (1 year 28 days ago.)
What do you do though? I have tried to gently broach the subject to work thru it...but after once sentence my husband get defensive about this 'harmless' behavior, belittles any feelings I have about it, then get angry and clams up or walks out. And he does double and triple takes on every halfway decent female. We go to our boys wrestling tournament and I can pick out the 3 prettiest women there..and of those 3 at least 2 he will have somehow worked hmself near them and initiated a conversation - while Im in the bathroom or something. We may be walking out of a store side by side but theres a pretty clerk arranging a rack and suddenly hes 20' behind me while making some laughing interaction between him and the clerk - this just happened twice in 2 days at our sons baseball tournament! but if a guy looks at me he has a fit - as if its my fault. And if I were to look at a guy - he's mean to me the rest of the day! He had an internet porn addiction for several years...he's been 'clean' over a year on that - if you dont count recording every smutty cinemax show. I am getting tired of battling one problem after another.Respond to this comment
» left by Tania from Pakistan (78 days 16 hours ago.)We appreciate your comments!
Hi Leah,i agree with you that if the man is really into his woman will not want too stare at other women at all leave alone taking a second look but again men are men they always have a reason to do what ever they want too. Thanks for sharing this article with us .TaniaRespond to this comment
