Where Is The Love?
by Beaulah Hamilton(12)http://www.matchdotcon.org
All the talk about blow jobs, anal sex, penis size, the latest and greatest sex positions, I could go on and on, makes me wonder why we have to “talk” so much about it. Has sex become so dull, mechanical and performance oriented that we have to constantly talk about spicing it up? What happened to the beauty of intimacy? I would imagine that 2 people that have a functional loving relationship could manage to figure out between themselves how to have great sex without all the advice and talk about it.
Somehow, all the talk about it seems to take the magic of it away. It is no longer a private matter. The real meaning behind it gets lost with all the instruction. Sex, more than ever before is wrought with expectations and pressure which creates fear and resentment, leaving both people in a place where they cannot see each other, since they are too busy performing. It becomes all about the orgasm. The individuals, become trapped within themselves and almost fearful of each other. Will my partner reject me if I am not good enough in bed?
Regardless of whether it is about your orgasm or your partners, all the focus on the mechanics of the act creates pressure. One feels the need to create a “best sex ever" experience for their partner. After all, no one wants to be considered to be lousy in bed. Worse yet, suppose your technique or lack of it drives your partner to the arms of another who is certain to know how to please like you most certainly could not. When the focus turns to you and your orgasm, the pressure is on in quite a different way. What if I don’t have an orgasm? What if his technique doesn’t work for me? Would it offend him if I told him what I like? He is trying so hard to please me. Should I fake it? Oh, the stress of it all!
One has to ask, where is the love? It all seems rather brutal to me. I think that the sex that we talk about, and many of us are having today is more like “reality sex”. The best sex does not come from instruction. It comes from the people themselves, through love and trust. This allows for honest expression with regard to what both partners like and don’t like. It is not for anyone else to hear.
There is a feeling of safety, love and acceptance which allows the partners to explore themselves and the other. In doing so, one gets to truly know the other and not just how the latest and greatest techniques work. There is no pressure because it is not about mechanics or having the best sex ever.
It is unselfish and sometimes selfish. It is about understanding yourself and your partner so that together you build without even trying a sexual experience that is unique to the two of you. As a result, this experience cannot be matched by instruction and cannot be repeated. It only works for the two of you because it has been discovered through honest exploration and understanding that is custom made for the both of you.
The sex you have is as unique as a fingerprint. It cannot be duplicated. That is true intimacy. There is nothing more special, beautiful or freeing than that. It is so hard to come by these days. Maybe if we would all stop talking so much and bring back a little privacy, mystery and true intimacy, sex could once again become what it was meant to be in the first place, an intimate, loving and bonding experience between 2 people.
Article submitted Sunday, February 28, 2010 & read 3702 times.
Leave Your Comments:
» left by Leah Gag Cartoonist(1,021)(151 days 18 hours ago.)
Great article.Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (151 days 14 hours ago.)
Thank you Leah!
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» left by Beaulah Hamilton(12) (151 days 14 hours ago.)
Thank you Leah!Respond to this comment
