Divorce Filings and Paperwork
by HM WeimarOne of the most frustrating things during a divorce is the constant cloud that seems to hang over your head while you are going through it. You have finally made the decision and you are going through with it. You are past the grieving stages and in acceptance, but still you are at the courthouse so many times that it is still consuming your life. Some people hire attorneys at this point but those of us who can't afford them are left driving back and forth filing petition after petition, declaration after declaration, more evidence and still more evidence. Someone mentioned to me one day that it was scary when the courthouse staff knew you by name and you weren't an attorney. This terribly dragging monotony is very ominous. It seems like you are just filing the file with useless information. I asked a courthouse staff member today if the judge was going to be mad at me for filing more information. He laughed and said that my file was no larger than one with an attorney. I told him my soon-to-be had an attorney and all my filings were responses to his. He said that was not unusual. Why has the divorce industry turned into such a stream of paperwork and filings? How could we avoid all this useless paperwork and get down to what we really need? I don't know if there is an answer to that. Maybe if we stopped paying the fees to the attorneys and learned to work things out with mediation it would make it easier. But now the mediation industry is turning into another market for people to take advantage of our failed marriages. There are so many questions that need to be answered during a divorce, not only legal but emotional. Let's see if we can wade through some of them today and get some real answers.
1. Do you really need an attorney to get a divorce?
Most people will tell you yes. Only because it makes it easier for you to let them worry about handling things instead of you. The courts do not require that you have one but if your soon-to-be does then you are going to have your hands full, I can tell you from experience. Attorneys know how to work their way around the court system and twist things around so that no matter what their clients have done they can try to make them look better or diminish the damage. Obviously you two can't agree to keep the marriage so the question is can you agree on the divorce. Most of the time the attorneys give you advice on how to handle the disagreement to your favor. What to give and take. This isn't always a good thing. You do not have to have the attorneys standing with you in court or to file anything. If you can handle it then get advice and do it yourself. There is all kinds of free advice out there; you just have to know where to look. I am not telling you that you don't need an attorney, I am saying if things aren't too complicated or you can't afford one, then don't stress. Just get help when you need it, explain your situation properly and be prepared. Don't worry about how many papers you have to file. Ask questions. There are people out there who want to help. Don't forget that Washington is supposed to be a no fault state. Your marriage only has to be irretrievably broken to get the divorce. You should not be there to slander each other just to win. I think this is where people get lost in the process. They are so angry that they start throwing mud trying to get what they want. Stick to the facts and don't worry who wins or looses because in divorce we all loose.
2. What are mediation services?
This may also be called dispute resolution. They are sort of a third party who will somewhat intervene if you would like to sit down with your soon-to-be and get through a tough decision. They help to translate to each other what the other one is saying and hopefully help you reach a good, equal decision. Most services cost money and it is usually a 50/50 cost. You pay half and your soon-to-be pays half. However, they go by income levels, so if you don't make anything and your soon-to-be makes a lot then you have to pay half of where their income bracket puts you. The services can be rewarding when it helps you to come to an agreement on something but if nothing ends up being settled then you are still in the same boat. Again, I am not telling you not to go. I am just making sure you go prepared. Have a list of what you want to get out of it and things you want settled. Get to the point and don't just sit and argue. You are not there to argue you are there to settle, so also have a list of things you are willing to give up to get what you want. Preparation will help you through this process. Make sure that you ask the service questions about payment and how time they will spend with you for that payment. Ask them their success rate and licensing information. Yes they should be licensed. Again, don't worry about winning; just do what you can to make the process successful.
3. What is a declaration?
It is just a statement from one of the people involved in the case. It should list all concerns, statements and evidence in the divorce. You can file as many declarations back and forth as you need. You just need to make sure that you serve them on the other person, or their attorney in time for them to prepare for court or you could end up with a continuation of your case. You can file as much evidence as you want with it. Just don't waste your time with mundane items that muck up the waters so to speak. Like I stated before, stick to the facts. In one case I know of at least once a week they were filing declarations against each other. It was getting so bad that it turned into just a he said she said case. Try not to do that to each other. If one side has an attorney it is bound to happen because they don't want to show up and not be able to enter a statement from their client. Keep it as simple as you can.
If you have any other questions about any processes, papers, or people who are involved in the divorce cases please feel free to comment below or email me at hmweimar@yahoo.com or find me ontwitter, facebook and myspace. I will research it for you and give the best answer I can or refer you to someone in the field. Thank you for reading my article today. Come back often and visit us, let us know how you are doing and see what new information or advice we have.
Article submitted Monday, June 28, 2010 & read 17 times.
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