Grief, Sadness, Death and The Passing of My Father-By Matthew Beck
M.Beck & Associates
Arthur was an older man. His temperament had mellowed with time. Fear dominated his thought pattern.The powerful impulse to protect from objects-both real and imagined had frustrated his son-now living abroad.
Comments across borders, fear of controlling interests made for awkward conversation over coffee and brew. Perhaps the powerful would oppress the weak ? Perhaps our national indulgence would bankrupt the citizenry ? Perhaps the oppressed would rise up and seek to avenge the class warfare they had been subjected to ? Perhaps Armageddon is here ?
Fear dominated his life,cancer ended the struggle-now an emptiness clouds all. Without Dad how can we carry on ? Who will carry the torch ? How can we smile again ? Will we laugh, live and rejoice in good times again -or will be live in a vacuum of memories of years ago ?
All we have is pictures, memories, and mental groves on our brains that play when the needle of our mind reflects on the moments of times past.
How can we carry on without Arthur ? Is it important to seek his approval now he has passed over ?
Scripture,advise,wise counsel seem to have fallen on deaf ears. My ears are silent in kinship with my now departed father whose memory will live on in the mental grooves of our collective memory.
Arthur has now gone. He has passed over from earth realms to a journey unknown. Steps taken across the boundary of time. He is no longer leaving us, by way of a slow goodbye. He has fled to lands unknown-walking alone. No wife, no children,no advise,no wise counsel-just silent steps,and a trail of grief and love is all that remains.
I live, work and survive in an empty silence. Dads voice, words,email and counsel are silent. How will I carry on ? Will Grief engulf me ? Will I be the shell of my former happy self ?
For all of the fear of Armageddon-It was cancer who was the silent stalker.No-one saw it coming. None will forget its silent swath of sorrow .
Article submitted Sunday, July 18, 2010 & read 52 times.
Leave your comments through Ice Pop:
» left by Anonymous (1 year 182 days ago.)
"Get Busy Living -Or get busy dying-Thats GD Right ! "Shawshank Redemtion1994 Director Frank DarabontRespond to this comment
» left by The Pirate of Soleas Port (1 year 182 days ago.)
Fort Handcock Texas thats where you cross over,in here hope can be a dangerous thing,time and pressure.well done mr beck.i think your going to be just fineleft by rgmRespond to this comment
» left by MB from Lyndhurst (1 year 182 days ago.)
"Time can draw out like a blade.Ive had some long nights in stare-but that was one of the longest nights of my life"MB LyndhurstShawshank Redemtion1994 Director Frank DarabontRespond to this comment
» left by The Pirate of Soleas Port (1 year 181 days ago.)We appreciate your comments!
Matt - That speaks volumes of the love you have for your dad, and he, for you. Nothing can sever that love, not even physical death. Nothing can sever that bond - it's eternal. That's why you're in so much pain now. So hold on to that love and it will see you through each day. In time, your own time, you will think of him more with a smile than a tear. Please accept this as a sign of respect for the life of your Father. B.MitchellRespond to this comment
» left by MB from Lyndhurst (1 year 178 days ago.)
In the Shawshank redemption, they were tending the graves, and it was pointed out that "some birds were not meant to be caged.Your world is worse for them leaving."
Similar to my situation.
However its how you live thats important. Grief, etc is neccessary in these situations.
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