Why Men Cheat: a Glimpse Into the Male Perspective.

by shareen williams⁽⁴⁾

Damsels in distress, why are we so afraid of opening up and loving our men unconditionally? I absolutely loathe those four brooding words: He cheated on me!

"He cheated on me; he doesn't deserve me; I'm leaving him."

Let's take a step back and focus on the real issue: Have you ever stopped to think why he cheated on you? When a man cheats, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you; it's just his indirect way of saying you don't recognize his worth.

"But doesn't he know how much I appreciate him?"

Let's look at some reasons men don't feel adored by their significant others:

1. When your boyfriend confronts you, do you berate him like a four year old child, or do you openly listen to what he has to say?

2. Do you make him feel incompetent even though he gives it his all?

3. Do you make him feel trusted and appreciated by focusing on the positive things he has done for you?

Ladies, once our men start to feel useless and overlooked, resentment settles in. Once he resents you, there's a big chance he'll end up cheating on you.

Consistently cherishing his love may assuage his desires to be with another woman.

Example:

Lisa and John have been dating for nearly 3 years. Once Lisa discovered John was cheating, she immediately shut him out and denied all chances of loving him again.

"I don't understand your motives in seeking sexual satisfaction outside this relationship."

John loves Lisa very much, but his needs and ambitions are completely unfathomable to her.

He needs to feel as though Lisa is gaining something from this relationship; instead John believes he is a complete waste of her time.

Men do everything in their power to solve women's problems and make their lives easier. If we as women constantly reject our men's right to support us, they may seek comfort elsewhere.

John tries to talk to Lisa, but whenever he does he feels hopelessly rejected. Lisa says that John isn't a real man; she believes she's in this relationship alone. Lisa encourages John to confront her with problems, but when he does, she belittles her boyfriend and accuses him of being weak.

Poor John, helpless and lost, he meets a lady at work who openly listens to what he has to say. Instead of oppressing him with words of reproach, this sagacious woman assists John in becoming a better man. John and the woman eventually end up sleeping together.

I'm not saying men should cheat; I'm saying that as women, we should reassure our men in relationships so they don't get the urge to cheat.

Ladies, men are a lot more fragile and insecure than we think; they need support from us. We should do whatever we can to make them feel loved and needed.

5 simple ways to make our men feel worthy and loved are:

1. Say at least one positive thing to your partner a day.

2. Tell your man you love him more often.

3. Focus more on the positive things in your relationship.

4. Convince him that it is okay to confront you with problems.

5. Constantly reassure him he is the best thing that ever happened to you.

Article submitted Tuesday, August 24, 2010 & read 142 times.

Leave your comments through Ice Pop:

» left by Anonymous (1 year 167 days ago.)

As a man reading this... I think it's complete BS. If a man cheats on his wife or girlfriend the relationship is over. And lets get right to the heart of the matter, it's about sex. If a man can get an easy lay, he will do one of two things, jump right in or turn it away.

If a man has sex with another woman while in a relationship that relationship is not strong enough to hold him there. For whatever reason the man comes up with, the result is the same, the relationship is not happening.

It's the man that turns away nor pursues other women that is in love with his woman and will do nothing to cause upset or grief.

There is no valid argument that validates cheating and while all relationships need work to keep it alive and healthy it's a mutual thing. No one person in a relationship should have to work harder than the other partner.
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» left by Anonymous (1 year 167 days ago.)

I completely understand your point. In some cases it's about sex, and in others it's not.

I have witnessed several situations where the man cheated on the woman because she didn't make him feel appreciated or manly enough, so instead he sought companionship from another woman. In this particular case, the guy didn't even have sex with the girl; they only kissed and hugged. He just needed an ego booster which was something his wife refused to give.

In all honesty, I think you make a very valid point, but there are men out there who are given plenty of chances to talk to other women, and for some of them, it's not about sex; it's about fullfulling something they aren't receiving at home such as love, attention, and appreciation.

Yes, all relationships are mutual but I believe women coming home to good men should realize what they have and start appreciating them. If not, these men will seek attention elsewhere.

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