The Chile Horror...continued

by Frankie Lassut⁽⁵⁾
Franco

In one of the papers today, the fights in the X Factor house were overshadowed by the Chilean miners fears underground about cannibalism in the ranks, and, as I reported the other day, how one or two of them had been feuding over the methods of choosing one for the chop. Unfortunately (Or fortunately?), it was too dark, and all they did was bump into each other when chasing each other for the first bite.

There is a beautiful little sideline here, simply because one of then who was on the menu, actually scratched himself on a jutty piece of rock, and died during the evening. If you’re a horror film fan, you will know the amazing discrepancy between vampires i.e. the undead (That’s very similar to the lies told by politicians as a matter of course, Un Truths... why do people still vote????), and Zombies, also the undead. Zombies are similar to the general voting public, which explains how vampires get to run the country; it is bizarre but true.

Why is it then, if both of these inventions are real, is one vital and alive and capable of amazing things, and much desired by women, who discover their mistake when the lovebite goes horribly wrong and a certain part of the body suddenly dries up in disappointment (So much for hypnosis), and toothpaste won’t bleach it so that the ‘security’ hubby to be won’t notice her midnight romantic philandering with the dashing Darcy like Lord of the Undead (It’s a Hugh Jackman fantasy). Women though don’t fancy zombies, which admittedly aren’t as dashing as vampires by any means. Zombies are boring, and talk like interested teenagers “Duuuuhhhhh!” “Wherrrrrrrrrrrr”...that’s an excerpt from the script of Dawn of the Dead. The excuse for the zombie... “Well, they just appear, no one knows where from”... what a getout!

Where do those miners come into this. Well, the one that cut himself on the wall changed into a zombie, and the next day, which was dark for them obviously, he managed to bit them all, with resounding “Duuuuhhhhhhhh”s each time he got a mouthful of flesh to cries of “You sonnadabeeeeetch!”

When they were all converted, they actually had a zombie union meeting, and decided that for maximum effect, they should all try and act as working class human as possible, and just stand there on the surface, hands in pockets, whistling innocently, until the last one is there....and then, Super Mario “Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuggguuuuuu!” (Ok lads, gettem! Start with that sonodabeeeetch President who like da TV bliddy cameras!” And it begins! Dawn of the dead in San Jose wherever it was. Wouldn’t that be wonderful!

Oh God, if only. I quite like having a vivid imagination.

Reporter: “And this is a great day for the worlds most successful mine rescue! But wait! The zombies have finished eating the president, and now they are heading towards their screaming, rooted to the spot in fear, families!”

Article submitted Saturday, October 16, 2010 & read 18 times.

Leave your comments through Ice Pop:

No comments yet.
We appreciate your comments!

3-0-0-0-3-ADSO

Most Recent