The Meaning of Infidelity In Marriage

by Todd Hill
http://www.MarriageAndInfidelitySecrets.com

What exactly is infidelity in marriage? If you look up infidelity in the dictionary as it pertains to marriage, you’ll find that infidelity means adultery. Adultery is defined as the “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner that is not the lawful husband or wife”.

That infidelity definition works for the obvious cases of marital infidelity. And, that may be good enough for most occurrences.

However, if that’s the meaning of infidelity as it pertains to marriage, what do you call it when one spouse indefinitely withholds sexual intimacy from their partner without another person being involved?

To qualify this, we’re going to exclude medical cases where one partner is not physically able to perform the act of love making for this discussion.

Taking that into account, is the withholding partner causing infidelity in their marriage? After all, they’re not committing adultery.

Let’s explore this further by looking at what marriage is and why most people wed.

When a couple enters into wedlock, they usually do it because they love one another and have intentions of spending the rest of their lives together. Often, they plan on having children and raising a family together, with the outcome, realized, or not, of passing their genes onto the next generation.

Most would agree that the practical purpose of the institution of marriage is centered on the appropriation of the species and the orderly development of family.

Looking at marriage like this would imply that someone entering into a marriage relationship would have some expectation of sexual intimacy with their partner.

So, if their partner started denying them the intimacy of love making, would they feel cheated on?

Of course they would. They would probably even suspect their partner of having an adulterous affair. The result of this situation could very well be the same as if the withholding partner were actually having an affair.

Now to define infidelity in marriage, we must go beyond the traditional definition. Infidelity experts and counselors often define infidelity as “when one partner receives sexual satisfaction from a source other than their spouse”. That almost does it, but not quite.

There is one more case to consider.

What if the spouse withholding sexual intimacy isn’t receiving any sexual satisfaction from any source? Granted, this may be an exception, but it’s worth considering for determining what the meaning of infidelity is.

Let’s suppose that the withholding spouse has decided to become celibate and abstain from all sexual activity? Have they introduced infidelity into their marriage?

Considering the previous example, their spouse may very well believe that the withholding spouse is cheating with someone else, regardless of their claims of celibacy. And again, the results of this action may very well be the same as if adultery was committed.

So, now the clinical meaning of infidelity in marriage becomes; “when one partner receives sexual satisfaction from a source other than their spouse, or ceases all sexual activity entirely”

Again, that is assuming the withholding partner is physically able to perform the act of love making. Otherwise, that becomes an entirely different topic.

This should provide a good answer for anyone looking for a definitive infidelity definition. The conclusion is the same regardless of which situation causes the stress in the marriage. Also, the solution to fix the problems caused by each case is the same.

Todd Hill and Phyllis Stein-Hill are marriage counselors extraordinaire. For more great information on the meaning of infidelity, visit their website http://www.MarriageAndInfidelitySecrets.com and subscribe to their FREE email mini course, “TEN KEY SECRETS OF INFIDELITY AND YOUR MARRIAGE”. Also, get Todd and Phyllis’s latest eBook “Surviving an Unfaithful Spouse”for even more valuable information.

Article submitted Thursday, April 14, 2011 & read 100 times.

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