Infidelity - Emotional Cycle of Marital Destruction

by Todd Hill
http://www.MarriageAndInfidelitySecrets.com

Infidelity in marriage is the most catastrophic event a couple can experience in their marital relationship without a family member passing. And, unlike the loss of a close loved one, which tends to bring families closer together, infidelity rips them apart.

Instead of a family uniting to face a tragedy, infidelity drives a wedge between the couple to drive them apart.

Any relationship that experiences an act of betrayal is emotional. This can be seen when a child is not invited to another child’s party. The excluded child is hurt emotionally and feels rejected and often their self esteem suffers. Fortunately, a parent usually provides them with guidance to overcome the hurt to make the experience a valuable life lesson.

Regrettably, in the case of infidelity, there is almost always no counterpart for the parent to help reduce the pain.

Like the child, a betrayed spouse is injured emotionally, but to a much deeper extent. Also, like the child, they feel rejected and their self esteem suffers. And, it doesn’t end there.

The cheated on partner often rationalizes that somehow it’s their fault that their partner cheated. Some even go as far as making excuses for their other half being right to have an affair.

What makes infidelity in a marriage even more devastating is that the cheating spouse is often emotionally opposite of the betrayed partner. They don’t understand what their actions have done to hurt their other half.

Because of their affectionate involvement with someone outside of the marriage, they have become emotionally and psychologically insensitive to their partner.

To make things worse, when the deceived spouse initially finds out about the affair, they are affected so emotionally, they often become confused and irrational, thus, causing them to lash out in a combative way towards the dishonest spouse.

In turn, the cheating partner becomes even more defensive, creating greater friction between the couple.

This only provides the untrue spouse more justification as to why they had the affair to begin with. After all, they rationalize; their partner doesn’t understand them and uses the unreasonable behavior the betrayed spouse now displays to claim they are really the victim of an abusive marriage.

To make things worse, this situation only strengthens the bond between the cheating spouse and their new found lover.

This scenario has played out in countless relationships, ending marriages and leaving devastation in its wake.

The good news is, the cycle of emotional infidelity can be broken.

The truth is that in today’s modern society there is more information available to young couples then in past decades. And, as with many aspects of life, knowing what to look for and what to do when you see it can prevent problems before they get out of hand.

With a little education and a watchful eye, infidelity can be stopped dead in its tracks before irreparable harm can be done.

Todd Hill and Phyllis Stein-Hill are marriage counselors extraordinaire. For more great information on infidelity, visit their website http://www.MarriageAndInfidelitySecrets.comand subscribe to their FREE email mini course, “TEN KEY SECRETS OF INFIDELITY AND YOUR MARRIAGE”. Also, get Todd and Phyllis’s latest eBook “Surviving an Unfaithful Spouse”for even more valuable information.

Article submitted Sunday, April 17, 2011 & read 83 times.

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