No Mistakes - Just Lessons To Be Learned

by lidy seysener
http://acouplesjourney.com

I often receive questions from my clients who are feeling uncertain about their futures even going so far as to say they might actually hesitate getting into a relationship for fear of it not working out.

Firstly let me say that this is a normal response to any big decision you might make whether it be marriage or whatever.

Anything worthwhile is going to have an element of anxiety about it.

Someone once told me that if you're not playing on the field of life then you're nothing more than a spectator of it. If you are just a spectator, not willing to make decisions, then life will pass you by and nothing good will ever happen for you.

Ying And Yang!!

It's a bit like this: for every Ying there must be a Yang. It's a law of nature. There is always going to be two roads you can take. At every fork there is going to be another decision to make. And sometimes we will make the right decision and sometimes we won't. However, I believe that there never really is a wrong decision. Every decision just takes us to another place which will eventually take us to where we should be anyway, though sometimes it might take a little longer than it might have otherwise.

The only wrong decision then is the one we make from which we don't learn anything. This is the real point of this article. That is not to say go out and make decisions without thinking about what you are doing. Think carefully then trust that the decision you have made is the right one for now.

"Until Death Do You Part"

Let me explain this more fully with an experience from my own life. When I was 18 I met, fell in love with and, a couple of years later married my knight in shining armour.

Then 16 years later I made a decision to separate from him. As I was a Catholic, and in the Catholic faith you marry "until death do you part" I had a huge struggle with this decision. But decide I did.

I then spoke to the elders within the church who said to me that I could apply to have my marriage annulled, that is to have it declared invalid; a non-marriage if you will, on the basis that I was too young at the time to make a good decision for myself.

Guarantee For Success

Now I believe that I made the decision to marry on good grounds and was not willing to accept this verdict. I had given sixteen years, nearly half of my life, to this relationship and to the four children I shared with my husband.

My decision then was to refuse this opportunity before moving on. The thing is that marrying was my choice. I actually grew up so much from the grief I was experiencing and learned so much about myself, about others and about relationships.

Looking back now, I would not change a thing about my life. Neither about any of the decisions I have made nor about any of the experiences, good and bad, that I have had.

It is these decisions that have made me who I am today. So when I am confronted with uncertainty about the future and I'm looking for some guarantees I remember that there never can be a guarantee, nor mistakes, just lessons to be learned.

As a qualified Counselor, Lidy specializes in helping individuals and couples make the most of their lives and their relationships .For more information about me or what I do take a look at my website: http://www.acouplesjourney.com. Enter your details and you will get a free copy of my limited edition ebook titled 'Relationships - A Couples Journey'.

Article submitted Wednesday, May 04, 2011 & read 18 times.

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