The Key To a Successful Marriage.... Is He/she the One I Had Fallen For?

by Tania Ashraf⁽³⁾
Tani

"The key to a successful marriage…. Is he/she the one I had fallen for"?

Home life (marriage)

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. (Louis .K. Anspacher)

Marriages are made in heaven as we all know but there are some marriages which seem to be made in hell instead of heaven this is how many spouses feel when they have a disturbed marriage due to their wife/husband and when ever they are alone and depressed they often ask themselves " is she/he the one I had once fallen for? How wrong was I to fall for such a person who has changed drastically after I got married?"

This pinching thought does not end here suicidal tendencies/ becoming an alcoholic, staying outdoors till late at night, going for a walk alone, is one of the few signs showing an unhappy marriage. Some times the depressed spouse even starts to cheat on his/her spouse by dating someone more attractive/ more understanding this not all as you keep on meeting on a daily basis what happens next is the PHYSICAL ATTRACTION which showed sparks between the two sexes when they met the first time but with time this physical attraction develops into a physical need of being loved and loved in return …. Ending in bed, obviously this is the first NO, NO for the cheater spouse.

He/she is trying too look for what ever was seen before he/she got married does it ring a bell? "these feelings were the same I felt for my wife/husband before we got married " then where is it going to end , does it mean I am a loser in the most intimate relationship God has created after the relationship of mother and her child"? There is always a solution to every matter on this earth maybe we have made a self satisfactory statement which can console us when everyone of us is down the dumps, but Hey! Wait a minute, yes there is a solution to every problem if you put your heart and soul into it in order to find a solution for your problem then no matter it’s a marital issue, financial, social, psychological issue etc.

No matter how much we women deny the fact that marriages are in most cases successful when the woman is all set to compromise, and is bent on maintaining peace in the house I know its not that easy at all when you see your husband being un-reasonable, cruel, sadist, immature, angry at every small issue etc. But if you argue and see the repercussions in a the crystal ball when you go to visit a fortune teller you will only be able to see a destroyed house, disturbed children, tension in the air, no communication between the two of you, etc this is only to name the few consequences if a woman does not compromise. But if you do want to give in just because you really love your spouse then these points are for you for a successful marriage:

• After having a major argument between your spouse go for a walk or a drive and open the doors of your mind where you can analyze whether your spouse is right /wrong or you are the one at fault with a cool mind do not stick to egoism try to be accommodating towards your spouses views.

• Do not feel small / degraded in accepting your fault and saying "I am Sorry" or lets say its not your fault even then there is no harm in saying these 2 words, and never let the devil in you convince you by saying " why should I be the one to give in all the time."

• Gifts are the best way to express all sorts of feelings to the other person whom you care for and when it comes to a spouse then do not hold back in making a hole in your pocket for him/her.

• Marriage is all about forgiving and giving in and if you are not ready to do any of the above two then be ready to say goodbye to your marriage. There are times in ones life when its non of your fault but even then your spouse ditches you and marries someone else " why did it happen to me only ." ? Is what you ask yourself crying your heart out but if you think closely be honest to yourself for once and accept that it was you who made your spouse leave you for good because every action has a reaction.

• No matter how serious the fight is never , never forbid your spouse to have sex with you that is the only time when your spouse is in your control your love and passion for each other can burn all the miss understandings between you two after a hot steamy sex, during sex do not forget to make your spouse know that you are sorry and how much he/she means to you make him see your love in your love making make the night a memorable night for the two of you.

• If you are in the mood of making love to your husband then taking advantage of being a woman, can anyone make guesses what I mean? Seduce him to the core do things to him which he has always wanted you to do in bed and let him do what he has always wanted to do to you in the only cage where the two of you are together and alone which is the bed.

• Never let children be affected by your disputes try your utmost to go and fight away from the children because children pick the most when they are toddlers or in a growing age.

I do not claim to be a wizard in having the key to a successful marriage but these steps are surely to work for a sinking ship called marriage, because its easy to get married but not easy to remain married but again learn to die for the one you fell in love with before you got married after all it was this dieing for instinct that attracted your spouse to marry you then why not start to die for him/her again as this is the sure shot instinct not made to fail and at the same time leave the rest up to God.

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

Article submitted Saturday, November 19, 2011 & read 408 times.

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