What’s the Biggest Stereotype About Your State?
The United States of America is a massive country; a colorful patchwork of different climates, different landscapes, and different ways of life. Nonetheless, each state has its quirks. Some embrace them while others are unaware. Read on to learn about the most common state stereotypes for each of the 50 nifty states.
Outsiders, when they see an Arkansan indoors, think “Wow, those people have houses?
Sorry, Arkansas, we just assumed you all hang out in nature with a gun at your side and only emerge when you have to replenish your beer supply.
School uniforms can be a real drag, you know. Knee-length skirts, tucked-in shirts, and neatly polished shoes, all for the sake of a distraction-free environment.
Then, you come to a joyous realization and sigh in relief: At least I’m not Hawaiian. The stereotype is that people there have to wear leis and grass skirts and coconut bras — that’s got to be tough. And I’m too self-conscious for that mess.
Hey, don’t look so guilty. We’re all sinners in Las Vegas! It’s the state’s most precious resource.
In fact, Nevadans don’t even know what video games are. They are always giving slot machines just one last spin and creaming everyone at poker. Moreover, if you don’t graduate high school and become either a showgirl or a blackjack dealer, everyone will question what you’ve done with your life.
Pure, unfiltered Southern pride courses through every Alabamans’ veins. This is perhaps especially true when Crimson Tide seasons rolls around, where people get obsessive over supporting the University of Alabama football team.
From the looks of it, nobody gets off light for Roll Tide treason. You out yourself as a non-believer, and you pay the ultimate price. No, a wad of cash and several cases on beer won’t do it. You’d better hit the highway, branded a traitor, and show your fellow statesmen what you’ve done!
Because the state is the home of the bustling entertainment hub known as Hollywood, we all assume that California is one large spotlit stage across which acclaimed actors and musicians strut.
Everyone passes Beyonce on the street on a regular basis and celebrities are everywhere. Also, it’s assumed that you have at least a dozen movie stars living on your street.
As far as anyone is concerned, Alaska is just a freaking cold place to be. Anyone who lives there is perpetually wearing winter coats or just is crazy about the cold.
So how do all these snow people manage, we clueless outsiders wonder? Maybe, outsiders muse, Alaskans hunker down in heatless igloo and watch the Northern lights glow outside the window? Also, be sure you’re plenty strong enough to wrestle those wolves and bears for your dinner.
Yup, you know it: Colorado is overrun with stoners who spend every night wolfing down Taco Bell and whole pizzas.
The stereotype is that everyone is high. Also, taste-test that pink-frosted and sprinkle-adorned brownie before giving it to your kid.
Ah, Connecticut: a clean, blue-skied haven for rich people.
Well, a haven outside New Haven, of course. Because everyone knows that anything that Yale’s shadow fails to touch is scary-dangerous-no-good.
What happens when you mention the state of Delaware outside Delaware? Suddenly, the snooze-zones in the Midwest can say smugly, “What is there for those poor people to do?”
Either that, or they looked puzzled before responding in their innocence: “Delaware? What’s a Delaware? Sounds like a clothing store in a rundown strip mall trying desperate to sound high-end and exclusive.”
What’s not to love about the Sunshine State? When it’s not bathed in endless ethereal light, it’s raining. And the raindrops are shaped like Mickey Mouse or something, just to give tourists their money’s worth.
But most important: everybody knows how to fight off a big, bad gator. Even the retirees who escape to experience the state’s warmer climes here. Gator-Fighting lessons come with the complimentary orange juice at the welcome center, right?
If you’ve ever spotted a Georgian driving on the highway, the first thing you probably spotted was the peach on their license plate.
That is, of course, because all the average Georgian thinks about is peaches. In fact, that one Georgian probably grew up on Peach Tree Drive and attended Peach Orchard Elementary, after while they moved on to Peach Grove High School. Of course, attendance from December to February or so was spotty because snow is scary in Georgia.
What else is there to say but potato?
That’s how Idahoans greet one another, right? It’s how they greet each other. It’s their first language. First thing on their resumes: fluent in potato.
Sure, everyone knows about the great state of Illinois. There’s Chicago there’s more Chicago.
Oh, you live in Springfield? What a fancy name for Chicago! You either live on a farm or in a cramped apartment in the heart of Chicago. If you’re an Illinoisan who doesn’t fall into either of those categories, you don’t exist. You belong in the same void as Delaware and out-of-shape Californians.
Dude, nobody cares about your Lexus or Mercedes.
At least, not in Indiana, where the traffic is just a languid sea of tractors. The Walmart parking lot? Yep, just row after row of tractors.
You can keep your potatoes, Idaho. Iowa has one thing you don’t: corn!
But not just any corn: an endless ocean of it, sometimes punctuated by a crooked scarecrow or a creepy hooded figure who just wants to sell you more corn. Also, Iowa boasts a robust economy of farmers. If you’re an Iowan who is anything but a farmer, you are lying, obviously.
The timeless classic “The Wizard of Oz” was not a work of fiction, after all.
No Kansan is safe. They may not have to fear the petty theft of the city, but they know that in every shadowy valley, a tornado lurks, ready to pounce and whisk them away to a faraway land at any moment.
No shoes, no service? Kentucky accepts the challenge.
When they are not traipsing through green pastures in their sleepy rural towns, Kentuckians are thought to be patronizing every business while barefoot. Easier to feel the bluegrass between your toes that way, we reckon.
Louisiana is not solid ground. It’s just one big boot-shaped swamp.
If you’re not idling your days away in the murky goop sipping sweet tea and strumming your banjo, then you simply aren’t doing Louisiana right. Also, real Louisiana men fight those skeeters head on! Be an itchy mess with pride.
Ahhh, it’s come to attack! Nah, don’t be silly. In Maine, lobsters are just cute red puppies with massive claws and big bug eyes.
You want something other than an ocean creepy crawler for dinner? That’s just too bad, Karen. In Maine, you eat your lobster bisque or you starve.
“Pawk ya cah in Havahd yahd!” they shout in your ear. You listen for the r’s. They remain buried in that coarse accent.
Also, if it’s not wicked, then it’s just not worth your time. Also, yes, it’s perpetually cold.
Michigan prides itself in being home to the famous Motor City: Detroit.
But many know the city (and by default, the state) as a glorified war zone, with shootings at every turn. And even you don’t live in Detroit, you will be sorely out of place without a gun.
Why won’t these people stop smiling at me? Why are they so darned nice? It’s a plot, a plot I tell you!
What do these people want with me, you ask yourself again and again. Must be those heavy clouds bearing down on them. When the sun comes out and the snow reveals vegetation at last, watch the passive aggressiveness fly.
Feeling fat? Supposedly if you head to Mississippi, it’s said that you’ll likely have the lowest BMI of anyone around.
And don’t try bringing your fancy healthy eating round these parts, okay? Deep fried butter could count as a vegetable if it was fried in vegetable oil. Doughnuts are a whole grain. It’s science, really.
The people of Missouri are known for being nice. REALLY nice. Almost a bit too nice.
They are as loyal to their sports teams as they are to their “good” camo baseball cap.
Do people even live in Montana? Here, the bears are in charge.
They run the economy. In the Winter, though, they tend to sleep in a bit too often.
Known for having cornfields as far as the eyes can see, Nebraska is thought of as one big open field. It’s residents seem to be obsessed with the stuff too.
Be sure to get a delicious meal at Runza while you’re there. It might be your only break from the corn.
27. New Hampshire
What is there to say about New Hampshire other than it’s pretty much just everything that wouldn’t fit inside Massachusetts or Connecticut?
Of course, you can enjoy the lack of sales tax and personal income tax. That is, until you remember you might have to sell either your soul or your first born to keep your home. But hey, there are pretty leaves in the fall.
28. New Jersey
They’re loud, they’re proud, and they are desperate to prove to you how Italian they are.
They also don’t play it safe when it comes to hairdos. The more bombastic and pliable with hair gel, the better. Such style goes great with thoroughly-browned fake tan skin from all these they get.
29. New Mexico
New Mexicans don’t even have day job, obviously. They just spend the day watching the sky for aliens, who definitely frequent the Land of Enchantment.
Don’t forget that every meal has to include the state’s sacred green chile. Without it, we’re afraid your food is tainted, utter garbage.
30. New York
Remember: New Yorkers are superior to you in every way.
That’s why they don’t want to greet you on the street–because they don’t want to waste their time on such a peasant. They’ve got people to see and things to do, like attend their daily “Why We’re Better” convention in the crown of the Statue of Liberty.
31. North Carolina
If you can read, congratulations, you are ahead of pretty much everyone.
Bonus points if you can write your name and be only one or two letters off. But we gave you the gift of flight, North Carolina reminds us. So who needs any of that fancy book learnin’?
32. North Dakota
Found your way into North Dakota? Turn around. You messed up. Go back before you bore yourself to death.
Wait, are those people out there on the plains? Nope, just a mirage. Carry on.
Election year rolls around. Ohioans perk up. Yay, we matter at last!
Election year ends and visitors expect to be bored by perpetual farms and threats of eternal hellfire. There’s enough Midwestern hospitality to go around, folks.
Walmart is an icon. We associate it with convenience, consumerism, American excess.
So, congratulations, Oklahomans. You should wear your title of most fervent Walmart shoppers with pride. After all, we amateurs just run in real quick when we realize we’d run out of milk on our way home from work. Oklahomans are sure to dress up for the occasion.
Okay, Oregon, we get it. You’re quirky.
We’re sorry, Portland. We know it’s not just a phase. So you can stop making your poor buildings suffer for your identity crisis.
Great, stuck at the stop light next to an Amish dude. Again.
At least when you’re driving through, you’ll remember Pennsylvania’s small town names. Because they are known for being a hilarious bunch.
37. Rhode Island
Rhode Island is the smallest state in the Union. And like nagging older siblings, those from states twice its size enjoy teasing Rhode Islanders simply for living someplace usually no larger than a penny on a classroom map.
But little Rhode Island knows that one day it will grow up to outshine all the rest. Or it’ll just comfort itself by asking itself who wants to be big and important anyway.
38. South Carolina
Daring to be different in South Carolina? Here’s a tip: don’t.
In a sea of pickup trucks, be the saddest, run-down pickup truck of them all and you’ll fit right in.
39. South Dakota
South Dakota can feel superior to North Dakota for one reason: it, too, is nothing, but it’s nothing with a really cool hunk of rock with four presidents’ heads protruding from it.
All twenty of its citizens live right across from the monument, obviously. What a nice thing to wake up to every morning: staring right into Lincoln’s stony eyes, knowing he’s judging you big time.
The minute you cross the Kentucky border into Tennessee, you will hear country music blaring from every direction.
Just look out your window. To your right, a Southern beauty poses in her Daisy Dukes and crop-top in the bed of a Ford pickup truck. To the right, some bearded guy nurses his fifth beer and sing-moans of a broken heart. Also, drive carefully: cowboy wannabes are always crossing.
Let’s get the mantra out of the way right now: Everything is bigger in Texas.
For instance, drinking until you don’t know who you are anymore is big in Texas. And attempting to operate a gun when you have no idea what you’re doing is big in Texas as well. As long as you have an arsenal of guns, it doesn’t matter if you know how to use them or not. You’re safe and no one can ever question your Americanness, ever.
Utahans, they’re gonna ask you. So instead of getting all huffy when you answer, have fun with it.
Why yes, I am a Mormon. Just wait right here while I bring one of my five wives over here to greet you. She’s the voice of the rest. Once they pick up on your sarcasm, feel free to dole out the education they sorely lack. Or just skip right to that part if you are feeling particularly testy. Or just ignore them altogether, since you can afford to be selective about whom you acknowledge, since people make the same stale Mormon jokes at you a minimum of 100 times daily.
Don’t mind those Vermonters. They’re still waiting for the day Canada absorbs them whole.
In the meantime, they will be in the country reveling in their New England charm, chugging maple syrup by the gallon. Then they’ll throw a pool party and invite all the goats and livestock they know.
Outsiders may find themselves asking: what are they teaching those children in those schools?
And Virginians will respond: “Only the essentials, of course. Now try a sip of this moonshine and shut up.”
It’s true: it rains in Washington. A lot.
In Seattle, dodging the rain is a classic pastime. And don’t be caught dead with an umbrella. Umbrellas are for wimps.
46. Washington, D.C.
Not technically a state but it’s the capital and where “the magic happens.” Its politically-obsessed denizens are thought to be addicted to news and think they know their stuff.
Just stick a quarter in us, and you’ll get a randomly-generated political rant.
47. West Virginia
Feel free to make your West Virginian jokes. These topics are fair game: their dental hygiene, their lack of education, their lackluster infrastructure, etc.
Do not even think about broaching these subjects: the quality of the farms and the animals that live there. It also might not be a good idea to make fun of anyone’s sibling with all the sensitivity to incest jokes.
You come for the Grand Canyon and some stunning views of cacti, sand dunes and sun-bathing reptiles. They stay because—they really like deserts and sweating their rear ends off when the rest of the country is enjoying a white Christmas.
Nothing like miles and miles of scorching sun. But hey, it’s considered a victory if you take a bite of anything without getting a mouthful of sand, right?
In Wisconsin, your food and beverage options are limited.
But don’t worry. The locals never get sick of cheese and beer, and you won’t either. If you do, kindly get out.
Think you’ve escaped the crustacean commotion of Maine by retreating to Maryland? Boy, do we have some bad news for you.
But hey, if you still can’t stomach the thought of eating a bug from the sea: drench it in butter, sprinkle on some Old Bay, close your eyes, and imagine it’s a very chewy chicken tender.
Simply put, everyone is a cowboy.
And Wyomingites won’t let you forget it. So come down to the saloon, swing open the wooden doors, and shout “Yee-haw!” Because there’s surely nothing else to do here.
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