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These Are the Creepiest Things Kids Ever Told Their Parents

It’s no accident that The Shining and The Grudge feature children. Kids can be creepy! They have no filter, and haven’t totally gotten the hang of empathy yet. But some kids go above and beyond in the creep-out department. Here are 10 kids who would put even Damian Thorn to shame.

“Diiiieeeeeee…….”

PookiePi on Reddit explains one memorable incident: “My toddler went through a phase where she would just constantly say ‘hi’ to things. ‘Hi hi hi hi hi hi.’ One day, it came out sounding more like ‘Die die die die die.’ So I say to her ‘What’s that you’re saying?’ And she turns to face me and just whispers ‘Diiiieeeeeee…….’” It’s creepy, but an innocent mistake. Which is more than we can say about this next kid …

Definitely Not OK

Hissxywife on Reddit remembers hearing their son say: “‘One day I want to step on a squirrel and watch its eyes squish out.’ We stared at each other for a moment (my husband and I) and told him that hurting animals is not OK.” Hopefully the lesson stuck! But if you think this kid is bad, wait until you see what this 6-year old wanted to do …

Go Big Or Go Home

On Twitter, @wordfey remembers a kid with … big ambitions: “6-yr-old: I’m going to destroy the Earth. Me: Wait, what’s going to happen to me? 6-yr-old: You’ll burn with the world. Me: Ouch. 6-yr-old: And then I’ll move on to other planets.” We don’t know what we’d say to something like that! But this next one is even more baffling.

Nope. Just Nope.

QuagmireDP on Reddit: “While changing my daughter in front of the open closet door. She kept looking around me and laughing. I asked her what was so funny. She said, ‘the man.’ To which I replied, ‘what man?’ She then pointed at the closet and said, ‘the man with the snake neck.’ I turn around and nothing was there. I’m afraid to look into the history of my house to see if anyone hung themselves in the closet. At least she wasn’t scared.” Well, that makes one of us! But the next one creeps us out even more.

Time To Sell The House

Falicor on Reddit remembers asking their daughter: “Why are you crying? ‘Bad man.’ What bad man? ‘There.’ Points behind me at a dark corner of the room. Lamp on the bookshelf next to said darkened corner falls off as soon as I turn to look. She slept in our bed that night.” This kid definitely knows more than she should. But the next kid tops it!

But Seriously, How?

Another from Twitter, @Cricket_71 remembers what started as a normal day on the job: “1991. Worked at the pediatricians office. Screening a 5y/o for therapy. He lived in the country, no friends, homeschooled, parents had no TV. Mid screen- he looks at me, says ‘Your brother saved my life in Desert Storm.’ I went cold & pale… my brother was in Iraq.” And he’s not the only one who will have you believing in past lives …

A Creepy Compliment

Twitter user @daahlingnikki remembers one conversation with her daughter: “My daughter was about 5 when she says you’re the best mommy I ever had. I said I’m the only mommy you’ve ever had. She looks at me and says no your the 3rd one but I like you the best.” Which is kind of sweet, in a creepy way. This next one isn’t …

The Worst Nightmare

Reddit user hsertich recounts: “My mom has told me a story about my brother when he was younger. I guess he was sleepwalking and she was trying to coax him back to bed and he said something along the lines of ‘I would but the devil is behind you.’ Yeah, noo.” We couldn’t agree more! “Yeah, no” also sums up our feelings on this next story …

Trading One Problem For Another

Redditor darinfjc remembers one particularly creepy conversation: “My co-worker’s four year old daughter always thought that the rattling of the water pipes in the kitchen cupboards were ‘white wolves’ and the sound always scared her. One day she was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, ‘Mom. The white wolves aren’t bad… they’re our friends!’

Her mom encouraged the idea by saying, ‘Yes! The white wolves are protecting us. They are our friends.’ Then her daughter added in, ‘They’re our friends, but not the man who crawls on the floor and stands by my bed.'” We’re definitely not sleeping after having that image put in our minds. But at least sometimes, kids say things that are creepy and funny at the same time …

At Least They’re Practical

On Reddit again, pipperfloats remembers one conversation between her kids: “5 year old: ‘Mommy, when you die I want to put you in a glass jar so I can keep you and see you forever.’ To which the 6-year-old responds: That’s stupid. Where are you gonna find a jar that big?’

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Copyright © 2019 Novelty Magazines Ltd. All rights reserved

Copyright © 2019 Novelty Magazines Ltd. All rights reserved