Hilarious Bumper Stickers That We’d Want To Get Stuck Behind In Any Traffic Jam
Love them or hate them, bumper stickers have always been a fixture on any small road or major highway. They provide at least a moment of reading material for any long vehicular journey. And each bumper sticker literally tells its own story, but it also reveals more about who is behind the wheel of some of the corniest jokes and the most decorated automobiles.
But for the most unique drivers, simply putting a “baby on board” sticker won’t cut it. Instead, they chose to decorate their cars with more outlandish, witty and slightly bizarre decals that surely leave their fellow motorists laughing, scratching their heads or maybe even shifting into another lane.
1. The cat is out of the bag. This driver apparently wears their heart and their bad relationship history on their sleeve, or, in this case… their car.
2. The “baby on board” bumper sticker is a staple for most new parents. But, hey, who says that it’s only babies who want to be safe in the car?
3. “Crash Into Me” is the perfect song for Dave Matthews Band, but not particularly the perfect anthem when you’re driving an already beat up car.
4. This makes the ideal bumper sticker for those who want to let it be known that they’re total dogs lovers, but don’t share the same sentiment went it comes to domestic felines. Catty much?
5. We are not exactly sure why or when the tenses on this grammatically confusing bumper sticker changed, but we will just run with it – or, should we say, “running?”
6. There are two types of people in the world: The ones who run in local 5k races, and the ones who drive to the finish line and just meet you at the end for lunch. To be honest, we’d be proud to flaunt a bumper sticker for either.
7. This driver apparently wants to be transported back to yesteryear, when they were total cool kids and did not own a family friendly minivan to make the rounds at school.
8. Nope this isn’t a Game of Throne ad. This bumper sticker is for the wishful driver who dares to dream big, no matter how outlandish, unlikely and improbable the fantasies are.
9. PT cruisers are known to be a few things. They’re practical, they’re comfortable, they are compact. But are they cool? This self-deprecating driver apparently doesn’t need anyone else’s input.
10. No baby on board here. These drivers and their matching stick figure family apparently want you to know they carry a different type of bundle of joy aboard their vehicle.
11. No need for an autonomous vehicle here, according to this tongue-in-cheek bumper sticker, the driver here has mastered the art of sleeping behind the wheel. For everyone’s sake, we hope this is a permanently parked car.
12. This driver seemingly decided to literally leave her dissolved marriage in the rear view mirror. But for everyone driving behind her, this divorce is spilling out into plain view.
13. Setting up an alarm system on your car can get expensive. Printing out a DIY bumper sticker like this and slapping it on the back of your vehicle is priceless.
14. We’re not exactly sure what kind of reaction this would garner at the local body shop, but one thing’s for sure – we’d definitely be sitting out that tune up job.
15. For any unsuspecting thief banking on the idea that this driver would have any money on him, do the words “joint bank account” mean nothing to you?
16. This is the perfect bumper sticker for the person who can’t help but post to Instagram every time they see a good cloud formation, or for those who otherwise have their head in the clouds. Just remember, keep your eyes on the road, people.
17. This car is clearly eco friendly. And we’re not talking about its fuel emission standards, we’re talking about the literal tree growing out of the bumper sticker on the rear fender. Talk about going green!
18. Can we please get a round of applause for this clever driver and their crafty bumper sticker? Unless you’re a dinosaur, in which case don’t worry about applauding.
19. This driver came up with a hilarious answer for some of the darker bumper stickers that sometimes pass by. And it’s not only clever, but it may just end with a free car.
20. We’ve heard of wide turns, and we have heard of sharp turns, but what exactly is a “weird turn?” We’d try asking this driver, but it’d probably be best to wait our turn.
21. Ever wonder what happened to all of those honors students whose parents we’re only too proud to tout that information on a bumper sticker? This driver – apparently a former honor student – wonders the same thing.
22. There is your standard passive aggressive person, and then there is this passive aggressive person who just lets their car and bumper sticker do all of the talking.
23. This driver agrees, sometimes all you want on a long road trip is a little peace and quiet. Please honk if you happen to feel the same way.
24. Once in a blue moon you come across a great bumper sticker on the road. There’s the seat belt safety motto “click it or ticket,” but this spacey safety precaution takes it to a whole new world.
25. This car does not want you to get any of the wrong ideas. If you want a shot at this vehicle, at least take it to a drive through dinner and movie first!
26. Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, that’s none of your business. Don’t question the chicken and just let it cross the road in peace!
27. This honest driver wants the world to know that if you are looking for cash, maybe you should ask another car. Their seat belt is strapped, and they’re equally strapped for cash.
28. We had something to say about this bumper sticker, but unfortunately we were not exactly listening to what it said. Can you repeat that? One more time?
29. This driver needs to renegotiate their work benefits package, their job is clearly killing them. Calling in dead is one way to pump the brakes on a hard work week.
30. Sometimes a good bumper sticker says everything you need to say. Other times, a good bumper sticker gets the sentence started, and lets your car take it from there.
31. When a car runs out of gas, you pay at the pump. When a marriage runs out of gas, apparently the price tag is just a little bit higher.
32. A few run ins with some hurried drivers must have been the driving force that caused this person to invest in a new bumper sticker. They were driven to make this purchase!
33. This bumper sticker is the perfect gift for the friend who is driven crazy by all of the drivers who share their opinions on the bumpers of their cars, and definitely have a real opinion about it.
34. Hold on, we’ll get back to writing about this bumper sticker in a few minutes. Don’t rush us. We’ll do it soon. Perfection comes with time.
35. We feel really bad for the very unlucky person who has to drive behind this sassy car. What exactly are they driving at here?
36. No need for a detailed resume, this driver has everything you need to know about her plastered right on the back of her car.
37. We think we know what this bumper sticker is supposed to mean, but then again, can we trust everything that we think? We’ll think about it.
38. Finding the perfect bumper sticker is, in itself, an art form that some aim to master. Whether you’re an artist or not, that’s something we can all understand.
39. For all of the Hangover fans out there who happen to have small children (or maybe your own Baby Carlos) in the car, we think we’ve found the perfect bumper sticker for you.
40. The mathematician behind the wheel of this car is apparently unable to divide their time between keeping their eyes on the road making careful calculations. Multitasking is always optimal.
41. This bumper sticker is for all of the Marvel and DC Comic fans out there who are sick of super villains trying to break their allegiances apart. Can’t we all just live in peace and coexist – superhero style?
42. This driver wants to let it be known that they have some pretty lofty plans for their future in case are any blasts from the past reemerge. We’re just hoping this driver thought those plans through.
43. There are insane traffic, insanely long work commutes and insane driving conditions. But this driver wants you to know that the insanity on the road does not stop there.
44. The woman who owns this car definitely is not a back seat driver. She’s asserting that she’s proudly in the driver’s seat, and is not planning on slowing down.
45. Knowing that there is no airbag system in this car is driving up our heart rates, but to each his own, we guess. Let’s just hope the array of other bumper stickers here don’t lure in other fellow drivers too close.
46. We have all seen the bumper stickers with some sort of opinion on them that direct you to a website. But does anyone ever actually go to that website? This driver doesn’t think so.
47. To all of the drivers who seem to be getting a little too close for comfort to the back of your car: This one’s for you. Then again, maybe it’ll lure them in closer.
48. A classic, happy stick figure family and one pesky zombie walk into a bumper sticker… and the rest is cheeky car decal history.
49. The perfect bumper sticker for when you drive a station wagon, but still reserve the right to be just a little bitter about living in your suburban neighborhood.
50. Forget the Ferraris and BMWs. Sometimes our mind drives us crazy, and takes us to the strangest places. And sometimes your car can do the same. So strap in and get ready for a ride.
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