When it comes to online dating, the results can be pretty bleak. Some romantic hopefuls go to Tinder looking for love, while others seek less, ahem, committed arrangements. While pure relationship bliss is not guaranteed, at least the prospect of entertainment is nearly sure fire. From the seriously frightening, to the crude, to the laugh out loud funny, swipe through some of our favorite and most outrageous Tinder bios.
1. This Tinder bio makes us grateful that going on dates is not like going on Uber rides. Some of us would be pretty horrified to see our ratings. Still, we’d give this witty Tinder bio 5 stars.
2. Quick question. Can someone be pulled over for reckless Tindering? Because we are pretty sure that this coquettish cop deserves at least a ticket for his criminally outrageous dating app bio.
3. Based on this fierce dating profile, when Tinder user Heather here ultimately decides to ghost suitors she’s just not feeling the chemistry with, it must be called “Razor Burn.” Ouch!
4. Okay, whoever you are, wash your mouth out with soap. This bio might be a little too fresh for our taste. At least save the toothbrush jokes for the first date.
5. There are the kind of guys that people want to take home to meet their parents. There are also, apparently, the kind of guys who end up becoming your parents. Stacys’ moms, be warned.
6. We are going to go ahead and gather that, based on this incredible Tinder bio, Dave wants potential love interests to know he’s as smooth as a woman’s armpits after using Dove deodorant.
7. Something about what is written in this brutally honest Tinder bio tells us that she puts her boys on rock (rock) and they’ll be lining down the block just to watch what she’s got.
8. We’ve heard of some pretty unfortunate names, but we have to hand it to this woman who turned her name into a hilarious Tinder bio. Here’s to hoping she will at least hold her date’s hand.
9. What do Victoria from Tinder and the iceberg that the Titanic crashed into likely have in common? You probably can only see about 10 percent of them from your vantage point.
10. This Tinder bio cuts right to the point. Come for the sweet, romantic gestures, stay for the sharp humor and wit. Just make sure she stays those 63 kilometers away.
11. Runway or run away? For anyone swiping right on this Victoria’s Secret hopeful, Tina, they will probably have to wait until at least the first date to find out more secrets that only she’s aware of.
12. Any hopefuls wanting to date somebody like Hope here should be happy to already be warned about her propensity for word play and … possibly other play as indicated in her cheeky Tinder bio.
13. We are going to go ahead and say that this brow-raising Tinder bio is probably not what Madison’s mother had in mind when she told her daughter not to talk to strangers.
14. Some people say that after a bad experience they end up finding Jesus. Other people can say that a bad experience on Tinder led them to find Jesus. Thoughts and prayers for his matches.
15. Looking for love? Tinder user Arrjun might just be exactly what the doctor ordered. He’s a doctor, has a great sense of humor, and great music taste to match. On top of that, he seems to know that laughter is the best medicine. O(h)-positive indeed.
16. Let’s face it. Sometimes online dating leads to falling in love. Other times online dating, leave you figuratively falling flat on your face. That is, unless you are Lucy. For Lucy, she just literally falls flat on her face.
17. This one truly tickles us. It is the 21st century, and women are no longer expected to automatically take their partner’s last name. Unless your name is Tess. In that case, you kind of have to take on the last name Tickle. Why shield the world from such greatness?
18. Why settle for just online matchmaking when you can up your chances by combining a real-life Yente with some added help of the virtual kid. Based on her Tinder profile, we can only hope that Cheri’s grandpa is swiping for her too.
19. If anyone thought the job market was difficult to navigate these days, just try the dating world. They say first dates can be like job interviews, but for Morgan, she seems to be taking this phrase a little too literally.
20. A quick Google search will actually show users that the Savannah actually covers over 65 percent of Africa. Considering that, we think the Tinder user here should probably ‘SerenGETi’ her facts straight.
21. It theems like Kethmi wath getting thick, tired, and pithed off about people pronounthing her name wrong. Luckily, her hysterical Tinder bio is both informational, thmart, and truly hilarioth.
22. When going on a date with Vanessa, suitors apparently won’t be quite sure which version of her they will get. But hey, for those worried about getting into a relationship rut, this would definitely keep thing interesting.
23. Some potential suitors may see this woman’s hysterical Tinder bio and want to call her to schedule their first date. Others may read her outrageous personal blib and want to call the police. At least breakfast would be in order?
24. For most anyone who has used Tinder, we are just going to go ahead and say that they can probably relate to Kayla’s super honest admission. Most people don’t admit it so brazenly, but we all know it is true.
25. We wouldn’t be surprised if Mat’s dates reported that he seems to be a really great guy, but then they started to notice that he would always be waiting for them outside on their doorsteps.
26. Potential partners, you can all get in line, but we will always know who is number one on this woman’s list of loves. They will just have to deal with being #2, and hope that the matching couple shirt will eventually feature their face.
27. Everyone is looking for their knight in shining armor who is willing to help out an elderly lady. And this act of heroism has to count for something, right? A swipe right?
28. First dates can be awkward. There’s always the question of what to wear, where to go, what to order, and what to say. But at least with this woman, there is no question about who will be paying. Beauty and brains.
29. We worry that getting too close to Mikey means having to compete with his special companion and all of his jealousy issues. We wouldn’t be surprised if the moment Mikey goes on a date, Kermit gets green with envy.
30. This girl has it all. Her hysterical Tinder bio is good enough to make someone fall head over heels in love with her. And once they fall, she has the skills to heal them and get them back on their feet.
31. When preparing for a first date, the fresh, just out of the shower look is usually a good choice. Tinder user Hana here apparently doesn’t like even like to wait for first dates, so instead she decided to serve that look right off the bat.
32. Anyone who has swiped through Tinder knows that there are quite a few people who use the platform to post yoga poses and quotes about gratitude. But in this case, Emelly definitely has something to be thankful for.
33. We feel this gal. After going on a few bad online dates, it can be pretty easy to give up or get a little desperate. At least this Tinder user is not trying to mask it.
34. Grandma Gucci, we don’t care how long you’ve been trapped in your grandson’s body. Bringing back Lindsay Lohan’s days of wearing chunky highlights and badly playing guitar in Freaky Friday is never a good idea. Save yourself a fortune cookie. Still, we’re cracking up at this hysterically creative Tinder bio.
35. Ivana is just here to help her potential suitors picture what it would be like to be with her. And just to think, you could be the next one to have your face blacked out to help her score more dates! Hey, at least the girl’s got Photoshop skills.
36. When considering what to put in a Tinder bio, it is always good to go with something nostalgic. As The Office’s Dwight Schrute would say “people underestimate the power of nostalgia. Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses… second only to the neck.” We’d swipe right for the taske in TV at least.
37. Honestly, Dre, we think you’re going about it all wrong. Who needs a date when you have a life-sized cut-out of Danny Devito? That is, unless, you can find someone who doesn’t think three’s company.
38. We imagine suitors are lining up to date this good boy. And what more could a partner want? He will sit, stay, hand them their paw, and even roll over on command. Swipe right, for sure.
39. Online dating requires a lot of coffee dates only to have them quickly crash and burn. It seems that dating Ron here would involve equal parts coffee, crashing, burning and selfless humor.
40. With so many romantic prospects to choose from on Tinder and other dating apps, many users choose to set their standards pretty high. Taylor, however, seems to save concerns of height just when it come to her career though.
41. Most everyone looking for a serious relationship is looking for someone that they could proudly take home to their parents. If the neighbors have to be sacrificed in the process, so be it.
42. The dog in this Tinder profile looks like he served his country, and now serves some hardcore face. Based on this picture alone, you can sign us up for a date with Sarah, as long as she brings the dog. No dog, no deal.
43. Honestly, if anyone was to go to a bus stop and see a man drinking a glass of milk, we wouldn’t care if he had an envelope from Ashley or not. Just run regardless. Still, we’d swipe right out of curiosity.
44. Sure, it might be nice to have a partner to share meals after a long day. Then again, always having someone pick off your plate can be a real pain. Let’s just hope she finds someone who’ll up that meal total to four.
45. Well, this Tinder bio got real dark real fast. Megan may need a wedding date, but potential suitors should probably take heed before dreaming of walking down the aisle with this one.
47. This clever Tinder user turned her disability into a witty way to show off her ability to make some pretty good jokes at her own expense. But with a bio like this, we hope the drinks she gets on her dates don’t come out of her own expenses.
48. Stats are a common thing to see in any Tinder bio. Sometimes people include their height (although possibly exaggerated). Others include their weight. But Lauren decided to include some, well, different statistics.
49. Who is going to go ahead and tell Ricky here that this is not exactly how Colgate is supposed to work? He’s coming to Tinder armed with some fresh jokes and some fresh breath.
50. Apparently, no one even needs to know what this mystery woman, Elie, looks like. They should already be sold on a date with her based on this outrageously adorable Tinder profile picture of her Cookie Cat Monster alone. Well, we can’t argue with her taste.
51. Katie should give herself some more credit. She isn’t so bad at everything. She seems like she’s pretty good at coming up with funny Tinder profiles, and picking out a good watermelon.
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