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The Secret to Long Life Is A Lot Naughtier Than You Think

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How long will you live? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average life expectancy for an American human is 78.6 years. What if you’re not satisfied with that? How can you live an extra-long life, deep into your 90s or even beyond the century mark? Centenarians have answered that question in dozens of ways — from Cheetohs to staying single to vodka martinis — but only recently did British 95-year-old identical twins Lil and Doris reveal their secret to the world. And they did it on Piers Morgan’s national breakfast show, Good Morning Britain. Lil and Doris raised the bar — big time.

But First, What the Centenarians Have Said

Good Housekeeping‘s October 2018 article “30 Centenarians Share Their Secrets to Living to 100” offered up these pithy recommendations for living into three digits. Edith Wylie, 106, says to eat Cheetos while watching the 5:00 news. Andy Medema, 101, says to drink a vodka martini daily, but don’t smoke. At another point on the spectrum, Margaret Young at 108 says to drink lots of cups of tea. At 109, Ruth Benjamin says the secret is bacon and potatoes. At 105, Mildred Bowers puts her longevity to her 4:00 p.m. daily beer. Imagine how long she’ll live if she follows it up with Cheetos during the 5:00 news over a rasher of bacon and a spot of potatoes?

We’re not saying Brits Lil and Doris would disagree with any of those suggestions. After all, they’re merely 95 years old. But they had very different — and utterly hilarious — responses on the same topic.

Good Morning Britain, Indeed!

Lil and Doris recently officially became Britain’s oldest set of identical twins. To mark the occasion, Good Morning Britain invited them onto the show. After some small COVID-19 related small talk — “a bit boring at times” — Piers asked the million-dollar question: “What is the secret to living so long and so well?” Did he expect a vodka-martini-and-Cheetos type of answer? He didn’t get one.

Doris leaned into the camera , gestured toward twin sister Lil with her thumb and said: “Plenty of sex!”

Piers Morgan laughed uproariously. Lil scolded her sister Doris a bit. Doris sat smugly. Piers’ co-host Susanna was shown on-screen with eyes wide and mouth agape. Britons everywhere did a spit-take and started paying extra close attention. It got better.

Lil fessed up to having a bit of a secret fantasy along the same lines. At 95 years old, she’s willing to give up the rest of her years just for a single night with…. 52-year-old actor and producer Jason Statham. “One night with him and I’ll die happy!”


IMDB

The show’s host was willing to work with Lil and Doris on the theme, but had a different suggestion. How about a liaison with Captain Tom Moore? Moore is a 99-year-old World War Two veteran who raised over $15,000,000 for Britain’s National Health Service by walking 100 laps around his garden recently. His original fundraising goal was just 1,000 pounds.


The Telegraph/YouTube

Lil and Doris may have been impressed by the Captain as much as everyone else, but he didn’t exactly move the needle.

Lil quickly rejected Morgan’s suggestion, exclaiming: “I want bloody thrilling, not killing!”

No matter how old you are, how long you want to live, or how you intend to get there, you need to watch this video of Lil and Doris on Good Morning Britain. (So does Mrs. Jason Statham, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.)

Lil and Doris are sensations in Britain and around the world if the social media response is any indication. There’ve been countless calls for them to have their own show, and endless declarations of gratitude for the injection of some joy and levity into some pretty dark days. We can hardly wait to see how the next five years go and to check in on Lil and Doris again when they turn 100!

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