Prepare for a Halloween story. Imagine, dressing in an incredible costume, running around the neighborhood door to door, dragging a heavy pillowcase filled with candy all the way home, opening up the sack and finding all of the worst candies. Scary, right? We’ve tasted all of the worst candies and have ranked the 25 worst Halloween candy of all time. Because there is nothing sweet about bad candy.
25. Candy Corn – Probably the most quintessential Halloween candy and the most controversial on this list, Candy Corn even topped the CandyStore.com 2019 list of least favorite Halloween treats. Anyone whose mind is blown that candy corn made the cut, just wait to Google why it’s called Candy Corn.
24. Peanut Butter Kisses – Not Hershey Kisses, not peanut butter cups, not that tasty. These taffy candies stick to teeth, but are not exactly the taste we want to stick around in our mouths for too long.
23. Smarties – Sure, Smarties can be good for the first or second stack. But we are willing to bet that every trick-or-treater has at least three pounds of Smarties in their bags. And that is way too many Smarties.
22. Peanut Chews – It is hard to ruin the age old combination of chocolate and peanut butter, but somehow Peanut Chews manages to achieve the nearly impossible. We’d rather take a Reese’s Cup any day.
21. Tootsie Rolls – Not quite chocolate, not quite a taffy, not quite that good. For anyone that does not agree, we can discuss the phenomenon of flavored Tootsie Rolls. Now those are something everyone can hate together.
20. Whoppers – The outside is made of a thin, mediocre chocolate, and the inside has this weird, chalky, crumbly, malted ball. But somehow, the more Whoppers one consumes, the weirder the insides begin to taste.
19. Dum Dum Lollipops – When it comes to ranking the worst Halloween candy of all time, we are no dumb dumbs. And that’s why Dum Dums have made it onto this list. These parents think they can fool us with their tiny, tiny lollipops. Think again!
18. Jawbreakers – Where do we even start with jawbreakers? They take days to consume, stain a kid’s tongue, can even make your tongue bleed, and in the end, they do not even taste that great. Hate to break it to you.
17. Runts – Most people love fruits and most people love crunchy candies. But together? Not so much. Runts seem to be perfect for anyone who likes their overripe fruit filled entirely with processed sugar.
16. Sixlets – There are some candies that have mastered the art of combining a crunchy candy outside with a chocolaty inside, like M&Ms. Let’s just say that Sixlets and their chalky chocolate have not exactly mastered this art.
15. Butterscotch Candies – Potentially as contentious as Candy Corn, butterscotch candy is not for everyone. These buttery smooth candies can come in either tooth-breakingly-hard or chewy-soft form, so haters beware.
14. Lemonheads – Lemonheads are only really handed out by those people who like watching videos of babies trying lemons for the first time. A cruel and unusual punishment for trick-or-treaters.
13. Now and Laters – We do not want to eat these now, and we do not want to eat them later. These Starburst imposters are hard as rock, and we have a hard time understanding their appeal.
12. Bazooka Gum – This classic bubble gum is really great, but only for about the first six seconds of chewing it. It’s not that Bazooka chewing gum taste bad afterward, only because it tastes like absolutely nothing by then.
11. Dots – What could possibly be worse than eating an entire box of Dots? Spending the next three years of life removing those sticky remnants of the gelatinous blobs that cling to your teeth and seemingly take ages to come off.
10. Good and Plenty – Just because Good and Plenty is one of America’s oldest candies does not mean we think it should stick around. Half hard candy, half licorice, all around they are not so good, and we’d rather not eat plenty.
9. Bit-O-Honey – With the sweet taste of honey mixed with itty bitty bites of almonds, Bit-O-Honey showed a lot of promise when it came to good candy options. But somehow the sticky, taffy candy misses the mark.
8. Mary Janes – Ever wonder the name of those mystery molasses candies that are found in seemingly every grandparents’ candy jar at home? We are going to go ahead and guess that they are Mary Janes.
7. Hot Tamales – There’s a huge cult following of crazy people who like to mix their candy with an comfortably hot kick. We’re not trying to judge those Hot Tamale lovers, but let’s just say its not for everyone.
6. Mallo Cups – It’s not the chocolate and marshmallow combination that landed Mallo Cups on this list of worst Halloween candy. The blame for that falls completely on the odd addition of coconut to the mix. Could you not?
5. Candy Apples – A person can put lipstick on a pig and it is still a pig. A person can put a strange sugary goop on an apple, but it is still an apple.
4. Necco Wafers – Ever had a Smarties and wished it was bigger, thicker, less sweet and tasted just a bit more like chalk? Neither have we, but whoever invited Necco Wafers apparently did.
3. Licorice – Whoever thought of black licorice was apparently playing some sort of sick practical joke on the world. And whoever passes them out for Halloween are playing an equally cruel joke on trick-or-treaters.
2. Wax Coke Bottles – Consider this the official start to a petition to end all wax candy. Wax Coke Bottles are cool to look at, but take one bite and all of that nostalgic novelty goes away pretty quickly.
1. Circus Peanuts – Every year, Candy Corn starts controversy while Circus Peanuts get to slip away quietly into the shadows. But those days are no more. It’s time to call Circus Peanuts out for what they are, strange, banana flavored messes.
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